Say When

 

I saw this in a friend’s Facebook post and it spoke volumes to me. A lot of us are held back by the ‘comfort’ in our ‘zones’ that we become complacent and never step out. And in so doing we may never know how big, better, richer or exciting life can/may be.

I confess that I’m one of the ‘it’s safer in my comfort zone’ person but of recent I’ve begun to ask myself questions like, is it really safer? And is safer synonymous with better? Does ‘safer’ mean fulfilling?

Permit me to ask. Are you like me? Are you hiding in your comfort zone because of a real or imagined cause? Is fear the reason? Are you plain afraid?

I feel it’s time for you and I to tear down the walls of our comfort zones so that when exposed to the elements we’ll have no choice than to step out, to move ahead.

So. Take a step today- a step OUT of your comfort zone.

(Even if it doesn’t work out you’ll know that you did try)

But suppose it did? Selah.

 

What’s Your Point Of View?

People have different opinions on different things.
They can also have different opinions on the same thing.
This should be a good thing because life is colourful and more interesting with differing view points, otherwise it would be so boring if say everybody thought football the only sport worth watching or that meals should be cooked in a certain way.

Opinion is also formed based on understanding which may be flawed.
For example if there’s an accident, the narration of events by the driver whose car was hit would be different from that of the driver who hit his car.
Even onlookers will have differing levels of opinion on how the accident took place with the person standing on the right side of the cars narrating the incident differently based on the angle he saw it, from the person on the left.

Emotions also play a huge role. They colour the ability of the observer to make an objective assessment or process his or her opinion properly.
That is why if you say the same thing to two people, the one who likes or admires you may not take offence. Even if you meant offence he or she may make excuses for you and refuse to be offended.
But the other person who has reasons not to like you (or doesn’t but thinks he/she does) will take offence whether you meant to cause it or not.
That is also why many a times when a decision is taken at a moment of emotional instability such as in anger, fear or sorrow, such decision will appear unwise to an observer who is not under the same emotional influence. That way we see differing points of view come into play with both sides judging themselves and their actions as being the right one.

But the one I consider the most dangerous in the various opinion forming processes is when people are quick to interpret things negatively and/or destructively. This is because not only can it be a source of health challenge, psychological and otherwise (to the person concerned) but it can also influence and affect other people around negatively.

I will use an experience of mine for an example.

Sometime ago I had cause to work with someone, somewhere in Europe.
He was an excellent conversationist and a great companion when on calls.

One morning he came in to work looking really upset.
He flung his stethoscope on the table, slumped into a chair and just sat staring furiously at the message board that was opposite our consultation table.
I had to ask him what was wrong because he was acting out of character.
Normally he came in with a big smile and immediately began to tell whoever cared to listen about his train ride that morning.

The reason why he was upset was because someone had commended him on his excellent command of the English language.
That was all.
He later told me that regardless of the fact that he had a certain skin shade, he was born and bred in the same country as the person who had ‘patronised’ him and was therefore not ‘different’.

‘Why did he feel the need to commend me on my spoken English?’ He asked, clearly aggrieved. ‘Would he comment on his cousin’s or another person’s of the same race as he?’

I could appreciate his point of view, he probably felt the other man was being segregatist.
But what he wasn’t sure about was if the man was really being so or if he was just honestly complimenting him. I asked if he had considered that.

One thing I should have asked but which I did not think to was if he would feel patronised if it was his family member who made the statement.

The matter was soon forgotten in the busyness of the day but it made me think.

A number of people have also commended me on my spoken English in the past. People of same race as well as people with skin shades very different from mine but I had always taken it as just an observation on their part or at most a compliment.
However I began to think after that situation with the young man that perhaps I should have taken offence on those occasions.
Maybe they had meant offence I thought, but I had been too ‘thick’ to realise it at the time.

Some months later I had an encounter with a new neighbour.
I was on my way out and met her working in her garden.
We stood and chatted for a while.

‘Your English is really good,’ she says at some point.

Immediately she said that I froze.

Do I take offence or not? I thought.

After a brief moment of consideration I decide that life would be easier if I went back to accepting ‘your English is really good’ as a compliment and not as a patronising remark calculated to cause offence.

And so I smiled broadly, my dentition in magnificent display, and told her that all my education had been in English.

So, your English, reading is very good…

What’s your point of view?
🙂